


It’s All Worth It

by Slytheringirle



Series: Just A Little Something [1]
Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Enjolras is there for him, Established Relationship, Late Night Musings, M/M, R has depression though, at the end, he’s going through, if you look for it, it’s stated in plain english, some existional crisis, who am I kidding, ’taire needs a hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-25
Updated: 2019-05-25
Packaged: 2020-03-17 07:42:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18960865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slytheringirle/pseuds/Slytheringirle
Summary: Grantaire and Enjolras are just chilling on the roof and enjoying the starry sky -or political articles in Enjolras’s case- when Grantaire voices a thought that has been bothering him for a while now.





	It’s All Worth It

**Author's Note:**

> Was going throguh some existional crisis -still am- and wrote this.  
> .  
> I want to thank my beta for editing this! All mistakes are mine.

“I just don’t get the point of it,” said Grantaire from where he was lying on the roof, eyes fixed on the starry night sky.

“Don’t get the point of what?” Enjolras asked from against the wall, not looking up from his phone.

“This,” he propped himself up on one hand and gestured around him with the other. “We go to school and college for a bright, successful future. We built houses and skyscrapers; invented phones and televisions, even made satellites and sent them to space! We built a world! And for what?”

One day you just die. One moment you’re there and the you’re not. All the things you’ve spent your life building and planning for are meaningless now, wherever you are. You only exist in pictures and memories afterwards. Sure, your body is still there, under the ground, decaying and getting eaten by the insects you’ve killed for fun.”

Enjolras was looking at him now, blue eyes thoughtful. “I supposed it’s all part of a greater test.” He said, shoving his phone in his pocket as he walked to walked over to him and lay down on the ground.

Grantaire lay back down and intertwined his hands behind his head, using them as a pillow. “Yeah, but what is the test for? How’s it going to matter at the end if we’ve ever existed or not.”

He was phrasing it as an argument, making it sound casual. But the truth is, the subject has been eating at him for weeks. He just doesn't see the point of going on anymore.

There was a pause as Enjolras considered his words. He hoped against hope that the golden angel beside him will be able to come back with an argument, to convince him that life is worth living, that there’s a point. He’s sick of feeling like this. It’s like as though he has x-ray vision, like life is a skin, a facade, and that death is a skeleton; he can see through it all.

“To create inferiority and superiority,” said Enjolras at last, breaking the silence. “And perhaps some action too. It used to be only God and the angels, it must’ve been too peaceful, too boring. Hence the different races. Maybe there is no inferiority and superiority between humans, but we sure do think so. Creatures are bound to create discriminating rules between themselves; human or not.”

“So it’s all just one big game?”

“Well, when you put it that way…” Enjolras heaved himself up a bit and scooted closer to him, resting his head on his shoulder and draping his arm over his chest. “Why are you asking?” He murmured.

He rubbed his against Enjolras’s golden curls. “What? Not feeling up for an argument? Or can’t the great Apollo come up with a comeback?”

“Grantaire, I’m serious.” Enjolras lifted his head and looked him in the eye. “Why are you asking?”

“Just musing,” he said as he moved his eyes back to the stars, dismissing Enjolras’ evident worry.

Enjolras merely looked at him and he relented. “You were always smarter than I gave you credit for, Apollo.”

“It’s just…” He took a deep breath and released it slowly before continuing. “There’s really no point, you know? Whether we exist or not doesn't make a difference in the greater picture, whether the world exist or not doesn’t make a difference. Everything will be the same when world ends as it was when it started, whatever everything is.” He finished with a shrug, not averting his gaze from the sky.

Enjolras sat up, pulling Grantaire up with him. He placed his hand on his face and turned him so that they were looking each other in the eye for a moment before he dropped his eyes to the ground.

“It’s not all for nothing, ‘taire.” His voice was soft as he spoke, a soothing presence. “We may not know what it’s all for or what happens after death, but we do know what’s going on now and that we have control over. So live the moment and your life, and do what you want to; you may never get the chance again.”

Grantaire snorted at that. “Never thought you’d be one for risk,” he said, not looking up. But he was somewhat comforted by the blonde's words. They were like a warm blanket on stormy winter night; comforting when there but need to stay there for a while in order for them to have an effect.

“C’m here.” Enjolras wrapped his arms around him, embracing him fiercely. “I know it’s hard, R. But every day that you get out of bed is something to be proud of, something to brag out. And even if you can’t get out of bed sometimes, you’re still here, and that’s something.”

He closed eyes, letting the words wash over him. Enjolras will have to repeat the words every once in a while, sometimes more, but he’ll always be there for him, helping him through thick and thin and that’s more than he could’ve hoped for at the past. Life can be worth living sometimes.

 

**Author's Note:**

> So.... What do you think? Comments and Kudos are appreciated!
> 
> And come say hi on tumblr! (@enjoltaire-is-canon)


End file.
